Whenever I have the occasion to do membership interviews, one of the points I bring up is the reality that I and my fellow elders will eventually, though hopefully unintentionally, let that person down. I learned the importance of stating this from my teaching pastor, from observing him saying those exact words in membership interviews. He generally states it like this, “We want you to know, we as elders are just mere men. We will eventually, with all of our best intentions, unfortunately, we will eventually let you down.”

As a pastor this is a hard thing to admit. I’m thankful for the candid way my pastor has dealt with this reality and that I have learned to not only say this, but how God has allowed me to experience it as well. Yes, I know it comes as a shock, but I have let people down. In fact I hate to say it happens all the time. The reason we let people know this is because people tend to put pastors/elders on pedestals and to some degree there is cause for this to a certain degree. Elders are held to a higher accountability (1 Tim 3:1-7, Titus 1:5-9, 1 Peter 5:1-4) and the congregation is held to a standard of conduct in regard to their leaders (Heb 13:17). So it’s understandable that when a pastor/elder disappoints a member of the flock that it can be a huge let down.

The question then is, “What do I do, as a pastor,  when I unintentionally let someone down?” We must do what the Scriptures tell us. We must humble ourselves (1 Pet. 3:8) and seek forgiveness and reconciliation with those whom we serve (Matt. 5:23-24).

This does several things. First, it puts actions to the words spoken about sometimes disappointing people unintentionally. If I am unwilling to admit that I am wrong or have done wrong, then I am a proud leader, who is not willing to serve the body rightly. Secondly, it allows me to be a “real person” to that other person and should hopefully take away the possible “pedestal” they have placed me on. Thirdly, it allows me to exhibit the kind of humility that Paul calls us to in Phil 2:3-11. Fourthly, it engenders trust between me and that person. Fifthly, it makes the next unintentional disappointment a little bit of a softer blow. Lastly, and most importantly, hopefully it points to our need of ultimate dependence on Christ and not men.

Understand, by these things I am not stating that pastors/elders should not do their best at fulfilling promises and everything that is included in shepherding the flock. This is a non-negotiable in the mind of Paul in Acts 20:28, as we see that it is the precious blood of Jesus that has purchased the flock we oversee. But their are times, even with the best of intentions and the hardest striving, that we will disappoint our flock.